Did you make a resolution this New Years?

For years I’ve been setting and achieving goals, projects and reforming habits. Along the way I’ve done a lot of research on the topic and tried a lot of approaches. Some have worked, some not. I’m going to share some tried and true approaches with you in hopes that I can help you make your resolutions come true.

Set realistic, positive and clear goals.

First, what is your goal? Have you made it clear and detailed? Is it realistic? If you set a clearly defined goal, it will be much easier to say definitively that you have achieved it. Let’s take a popular resolution such as to get in shape. Rather than saying to yourself, “I’m going to get in shape this year,” make it specific. Something like, “I will be at my ideal weight of 150 by June 1, 2011.” Or “I am committing to going to yoga or the gym at least 2 times a week for at least a 30 minute workout until July 1, 2011.” These goals are positive, clearly defined and realistic. It will help to write them down. Post it on the fridge, your computer monitor or carry it in your wallet. State the goal often, keep it alive in you.

It is also important to step back or check in with a friend to see if your goal is realistic? I’m all about dreaming big, but I also see the danger in trying to do too much too fast and in the end just going back to the status quo. If you have a lot of changes you want to make, then set intentions to add one new goal a month, not 12 new goals all at once on January 1.

Get pumped up about it

List all the reasons why you want this goal. What are the perks? How will you feel? What new opportunities could show up? What will you gain? What will you let go of? This “Why” list will help you get excited about the change coming and also be there when you are feeling unmotivated or scared. Write it down and keep it handy. Focus on the positive feelings while reading it. Let it pump you up.

Make a plan that works

It’s not enough to just state the words or feel excited, you’ve got to make and stick to a plan of action. Let’s look at the second example above for an example of what I am talking about. Here is a possible list of action steps you could create.

• Join gym if not a member.
• Research yoga center locations and class schedules.
• Identify classes appropriate for you on gym and yoga schedules.
• Budget necessary funds.
• Mark your calendar for 4 time slots you can make.
• Commit to going to at least 2 a week.
• Check off which ones you go to in calendar.
• Keep notes on which classes worked best for you.
• Check in on your performance.

It would be beneficial to have a to do by date with each one as well. Give some time for this; make it realistic for your life. You can revisit and revise this as necessary, so don’t stress out over it. Just get things started.

Set up a support system

Most of the time it will help to get other people involved. Here are some ways to get support in achieving your goals.

• Find a goal buddy. Team up with someone who has a similar goal and make a commitment with each other to show up and do the work necessary to make it happen.
• Find a support group. Join a class or a mastermind group. Find a club, on-line community or create a group. Get involved, it will help to be able to talk with people about challenges and opportunities.
• If you have the resources, pay someone. Find a coach, trainer or other professional that can assist you in your endeavors.

Re-evaluate

It will help if you set up regular review times. Say once a week or twice a month, look at your action steps. Did you do them by the time specified? Are you on track? How could you improve? If you’ve failed to achieve action steps, what would help you achieve them? Think of this as a performance review at work.

Celebrate your successes, no matter how small. All the small steps add up to the goal you are working on. Checking things off on a list can be so satisfying. The more satisfying you can make the way to your goal, the more likely you will achieve it.

Don’t be so hard on yourself

This is key. More than likely you will fail somewhere along the way. Many people will take that opportunity to beat themselves up and quit. Please don’t. Please do your best to see that you are taking steps to improve yourself and that should be celebrated. Please be gentle and understanding with yourself. You may have to start over a thousand times before it sticks. You may have to recommit over and over and over again before a new habit is formed. That’s OK. It’s a process and you are human. Be gentle AND don’t give up.

Watch out for the self-talk all along the way. Can you hear the tapes that have played a million times in your head? “I’m not good enough” “I can’t do this.” “I’m going to fail again.” Sometimes these voices can be so subtle, and yet nearly constant. It’s a huge opportunity for growth to become aware of and replace those internal messages with positive ones or quiet. A yoga or meditation practice can really help with this. Be gentle with yourself. It won’t help to compare yourself to others. This is your journey.

Your work is to figure out why you didn’t do what you wanted to. How can you change something to make it easier to succeed? It’s not a failure as much as it’s a learning opportunity. Don’t be afraid to get help. Know that every step of the way is a choice, your choice. It’s up to you to take that responsibility and create change in your life. Yes, it will often be hard, strange and scary. Sometime it will feel nearly impossible. We need these challenges in life though, it’s how we grow and thrive. You can do it.  If necessary, just tell yourself over and over “I can do this.” Mean it and feel it.

Well, that’s the skinny on it. I wish you success with your dreams and goals.

Sunny

Sunny Keach lives in Asheville, NC with his wife and 3 rascally boys. He and his wife own the Asheville Yoga Center. Sunny spends his time tending to an urban micro-farm, wife, boys and business. He plays hand drums and does graphic/web design and yoga regularly. He likes riding bikes and longboards, and learning. He also tends to go off on tangents, but likes it that way. You can reach him at sunny@youryoga.com

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